Rearview Mirror

Rearview Mirror

It’s been a while since I’ve updated you. I’ve been traveling–a real life journey to go along with my health and spiritual journey. Just like over the past nine months, I’ve left something of extreme value behind, with the expectation of full restoration and renewal in the not so distant future.

My son is interning a a company in Germany, and I left him there. It was so hard to let go of my 18 year old, knowing that he would turn 19 while away from us, and have to find his way in a new culture. But I did it. I did it knowing that he would come back a little more experienced in the world, a little more mature, and a little more prepared to handle difficult things with poise. I know that he will rely on the One who provides all we need when we need it, and that the person who comes back to me will be a gift to the world.

It has been the same process of letting go of pre-cancer Yolanda. I’m changed, but for the better. I let go of breasts and expectations and vitality and my very capable self–but only for a little while. The vitality and energy and even capability will return in good time. The expectations and capability are beautifully tempered with reliance on the One who provides all when we need it. The breasts…well…there is Heaven, after all! But for now, I have lovely new silicone implants.  They are a little too perfect, a little strange, but will do quite nicely. When I’m 80 you’ll have to tell me to sit my fine self down somewhere!

The surgery to exchange the expanders for the silicone implants was Monday. I’m still a little sore, but doing quite well. I’m looking forward to working out to get strong again. It’d be nice to lose some of the weight I gained over these nine months. My plastic surgeon asked me, “Are you ready to put this experience in your rearview mirror?” I loved that metaphor. I’m still traveling along the journey, but moving on from this experience is crucial. Cancer was never my destination, it was a side trip where I learned an incredible amount about myself, my God, my friends… But now, I’m back on the main trail. The journey continues as I slowly ascend out of the beautiful valley into the gorgeous view from the higher places. There is still so much to learn and see and do as in Proverbs 23:18 (ESV) Surely there is a future, and your hope will not be cut off.

15 Replies to “Rearview Mirror”

  1. I have been praying for you and wondering where you are in your journey. Thank you so much for your update. When children grow up and leave the nest it is never easy. We can be proud, excited for them, maybe a little jealous of their youth, but always a hard to let go that mothers feels. Keep moving forward. So thankful you are healing…God is good…

  2. Sorry if this is a repeat post but don’t think my first went through.
    I have been praying for you and wondering where you were in your journey. Thank you so much for your update. When children grow up and leave the nest it is always to let go. We feel pride, excitement for them, and a little jealous of their youth, but also that hard to let go that mothers deal with. Keep moving forward and praise to the One that never forsakes is. God is good…

  3. I’m so glad this is now fully behind you! I know many women who are living full lives who’ve had and conquered breast cancer! Proud of you!

  4. Bless you Yolanda!
    You always have the best attitude! God has done such great work with/on you. Take care and know concerning your son, God is in control.

  5. Oh my dear Yolanda, you have been so courageous during this entire journey…whenever I feel low physically or emotionally I think of you and your strength that pours through you from our wonderful Papa in heave…keep traveling and blessing, Kathy Thomas, woman to woman

  6. Sunshine (Yolanda) May the Lord continue to fulfill all your needs and you continue to experience all his blessings he have for you. You are amazing Sunshine. Love Dellavon McCurdy

  7. What a great mom attitude to leaving your son in another country. I know as you said, he will be a benefit to this world after his experience there. I’m glad you can view that rearview mirror with such a positive outlook for the future you~!!!

  8. Great news…..and your son is on a great adventure/learning experience. He’ll be fine…and so will you! God bless!

  9. Praise God that you’re doing so well. I love you and will continue to pray for you and your family. Love you dear cousin. Enjoy life

  10. Yolanda, you have been in my prayers and often on my mind. When you are ready, I would love to take you to lunch and just “talk story”, as my Hawaiian friends say. As I watch the “destruction/ and renewal of the precious Big Island of Hawaii, I often think of what cancer can do to our own bodies regarding needing to rid ourselves of something to create something new/stronger. Thanks for continuing to tell your story to us. God Bless! Loren (Lori)

  11. I am so glad to hear that you are doing well. I have thought about you every time I see the photos of the swim team signing the t-shirt. I hope you’ve got that hung up somewhere reminding you of those who have your back. Whether you wear the shirt or have it set aside, it’s yours to do with as you see fit. I hope that I will see you in this year’s Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk. May the Lord continue to bless you and ACBC!!

  12. Yolanda, I have been thinking about you quite a bit over the past two months. Praying for you and hope you will come back and share “what’s next” on your journey…in your own time.. God Bless YOU!!!!

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