Please Don’t Take This the Wrong Way…

Please Don’t Take This the Wrong Way…

I’ve been given this scripture from James 1 twice in two days. I’m pondering over it, and waiting to get a sense of what it means for my life right now.  I know it must obviously refer to cancer and chemotherapy and surgery, but that isn’t what keeps coming to my mind right now.  Please, don’t take this the wrong way, but the only thing my mind keeps going to is boobs. Unfiltered, remember? I know there will be a time when I cling to this verse like a lifeline.  I’ve even prayed for God to allow me to be counted worthy of suffering to bring him glory (that was pre diagnosis). I’m really not being flip here, but I have to tell you that my dreams last night were all about how to find the right girls to fit the rest of my body! Awareness that a BRCA1 abnormality can lead to a double mastectomy recommendation has me really thinking about this. Do I go for reconstruction? If so, to nipple or not to nipple? Do I wear a prosthetic bra? Will any of this look right on me? My mother and grandmother both went through these decisions so it isn’t completely foreign to me, but it’s different having to face them for yourself. In my dream, I was extremely curvy and full figured, and the only thing that would look right on me was a prosthetic bra a la Beaches. You know Bette Midler’s performance of Otto Titsling? I had to wear an over the shoulder boulder holder! Could that possibly count as one of the  James 1 various trials? Those of you who have had to make these decisions, feel free to comment at the bottom of this post.  I’d love to read about your experience with this if you care to share.

8 Replies to “Please Don’t Take This the Wrong Way…”

  1. Obviously the right answer is whatever works for you.
    When my favorite aunt went through this many years ago, I noticed during one visit that she looked different, but being a small boy, couldn’t figure out what that difference was. I soon forgot about it, she was still my Aunt Gina, and all I cared about was that she was there.
    You have to do what you have to do to make yourself comfortable, but all those around you will see is your smiling face. We will just be happy that you are in our lives.

  2. Don’t forget to be patient with yourself. This is an all new experience that is happening to you personally!!! You have great faith and are not alone!! praying for you!!

  3. Yolanda have faith in yourself. Your a beautiful smart competent lady. Get what you’ve always wanted or keep what you’ve always had. You know you’re heart and don’t let others influence you unless you really really love and respect their opinion. I have faith in you!! If you’re undecided maybe shop around!! Lol . All is easy for me to say right?

  4. Choose the right decision for you. We do become accustomed to these mortal shells. If reconstruction suits you, do it. You have to feel comfortable with yourself. Whatever the outcome physically, you will be forever changed, spiritually, on the other side of this. Let your light shine, sister.

  5. Well, Yolanda, although I personally haven’t gone through this, I know lots of women who have. One of my friends had a double mastectomy and she didn’t choose reconstruction…I used to tease her (gently, of course!) that some days she had boobs and some days she didn’t. She’d laugh this wonderful laugh and say, Yeah, today I couldn’t be bothered! She just wore the bra with the boobs built in but mostly she just went without. I do know the reconstruction part is painful for most women, so take that into account. I hope I never have to face this but I’m not sure I would personally replace the girls…but that’s me and not anyone else.
    You’ll make the correct decision for you and that’s all that counts!

  6. If you have to get a double mastectomy, how about getting a beautiful tattoo to cover the area? Something beautiful and strong? Our boobs served their purpose with feeding our babies…just think-no more having to worry about bras :o)
    Whatever decision you make will be the right one for you!

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