Lifting My Hands!

Lifting My Hands!

I’ve had a couple of setbacks lately. I had to have the allergic reaction portions of my mastectomy wound removed and re-sutured. The wound just wasn’t healing in some places, so my very attentive plastic surgeon, perfectionist that he is, decided to just go for it on both sides. The wounds look beautiful now, and are already closed just a week and two days out. That really took the wind out of my sails. I was so looking forward to my expanders being filled and getting to my ideal size so that I can have the implants put in. This set me back several weeks. The stitches will stay in for three weeks and then I can start the filling again.

The next setback was that I’m allergic to the antibiotic he prescribed. It made every joint hurt, gave me a rash and insomnia. Pretty much any side effect possible, I had. That one scared me; I was moving around like a very old woman for a few days until I figured out that the antibiotic was the problem. Now that I’ve stopped it the strength in my hands and joints has returned. Whew!

Finally, I had my ovaries removed yesterday. It was a quick laparoscopic procedure that went very well. I’m so thankful to have it behind me. Recovery is about a week to two weeks. A note of irony: now that I’ve had this abdominal surgery, my seasonal allergies are going crazy and I’m sneezing. It literally started last night. I have to laugh as I hold a pillow to my stomach whenever I feel a sneeze coming on. You just can’t make this stuff up.

Where does this put me in my journey? During the valley of re-suturing and antibiotic allergy I realized that I was so focused on getting through to the other side that I wasn’t allowing God’s presence to minister to me where I was. What I mean to say is that I was praying for and expecting healing and victory, but not recognizing that he wanted to comfort me when I was in the valley. I had to recognize that Jesus is the source of my strength and comfort. I could be joyful and have that victory I prayed for because I draw comfort and encouragement from him. That realization made me slow down and walk through the valley rather than run. It is so uncomfortable to not be where I want to be, but I am learning to say amen and allow Jesus to be the lifter of my head (and hands). That has taken so much responsibility off my own shoulders. It has led me to some rockin’ worship and praise lately. In fact, I’ll share my rocking’ worship playlist. It is totally old school and makes me smile and dance and lift my hands.

You Are Worthy by Eddie James
Shackles (Praise you) by Mary Mary
Lift Him Up by Hezekiah Walker and LFC
Total Praise by Richard Smallwood With Vision
Let Everything That Has Breath Praise by Kurt Carr and the Kurt Carr Singers

11 Replies to “Lifting My Hands!”

  1. Amen Yolanda just rest in Jesus and everything will be alright. Sometimes we have to imagine that he is right there and we can lay our heads on his breast and just rock in a quiet still meditation and low and behold we are comforted. I prayed for you just the other day. Know that your prayer warriors are still present for you. Love always.

  2. It is all behind you and every day your body is healing I know it’s not easy but stay positive however you must also allow yourself to feel sad and cry it’s part of the healing process and as soon as you are ready for another photoshoot of the new you meaning your new normal just let me know

    1. Thank you, Nadia. I’m guessing my new normal will be in July sometime! I’ll definitely be in touch.

  3. Dear Precious Sister, Thank you for sharing your journey. God is glorified and we are inspired.! May He continue to give you strength & encourage you each day.
    With love & continued prayers~

  4. Thank you for reminding me to walk through the valley when all I really want to do is run the heck out of here!

  5. Thanks for sharing your journey with us! Currently studying Romans in our Bible Study. As you related your experience, I am reminded how many times our Lord kept His people in the wilderness or in exile or servants to others. He seems to want us to understand the valley sometimes. We are on the journey “He” chooses for us and rarely our own, it seems.. God bless you and your revelation. Thanks for being such a great teacher for us! With Love, Loren

  6. Yolnada, I, too, had so many setbacks when I had ovarian cancer. I found I could deal with those, except of course, when I hurt, I couldn’t deal too well. Know what I mean. My hysterectomy and ovary removal was ten years ago. You can imagine my shock that I still had the “female” sweats! I mean, really??? Taking one Flaxseed Oil gel cap three times a day took care of that! I tried the Flaxseed after my daughter in law did some research. I am so sorry you have had to go through the other things. It always seems so unfair to add that to what you are going through and have gone through. Take care! You are in my thoughts everyday.

  7. Bless you Yolanda! Hang in there girl! Sometimes we have to go through the fire, but it purifies us and we come out stronger than ever, and some day all this will be just a faint memory.

  8. Praise God for your Healing. Our pastor was just talking about the Valley. We all must go through the Valley but thanks be to God that we can come out of the Valley. Psalms 23 is my prayer for you. God bless you always. Love you dear cousin. Stay strong in God.

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